I know I have to leave the relationship because he is not the right person.
His qualities and moral values are not the same as mine.
But I am afraid to leave because I do know what's next. What do i exactly want?
I have been depending on him, him bringing me on a roller coaster.
I want to be a wife
I want to be a mother
I want a family to go home to
At the same time, I want me time for music
I want friends which has same interests
I have to move back to my family before I met him.
He thinks my money is easy to earn.
RM 100k for his shop - I can simply earn back if I go back to work in Sg. 5 months i can get that amount of money.
So this is why he's still with me. Coz he knows I still have money for him.
All the going to Syria, US is all manipulation.
I hope I really can stop for my own good.
It’s obvious - the answer is in front of you
What do you want?
I want a complete family to go back to.
I want a house with father, mother, children whom I call family
It’s obvious this is not going to happen because he is just trying to establish himself
He is planning of leaving so it will not happen in a short period of time
The question is if it is not going to happen now, then why spend time together trying to fix something which has no point of fixing. Even if u fix the problem today, it will lead to nowhere because there won’t be future. Whatever I do, it will be meaningless.
I'm Lonely
It's not easy to be alone in a place.
I used to be alone but no more after I married my husband.
Yes, I still admit he is my husband.
I still tell people my husband is an engineer. My husband is still the father of my children.
Will I be ok if I leave A and go back to him?
Undoubtedly yes. But how to make this transition easier?
I have a decision - its implementation and process is not easy.
Especially now when I'm so lonely. I have yet to learn the art of being alone.
Work to be done - being alone yet not lonely
He made my heart so pain
How can a person be so heartless?
This is indeed a huge lesson I have learnt.
When you treat someone good, he doesn't have to treat you the same.
He is the first bad person I met in my entire life.
I have never met someone as bad hearted and selfish as he is.
He did not let go because he had no where else to go
I am still crying
There is no point to hold on anymore - this week is the time to heal and move on
He blames me for everything
He blames me for making his heart turned into stone
He blames me for all the good i done
He blames me for all the things which happened to him
Faith was right, in an imbalance relationship
The person who gives is not always right
It is making the other person handicap
If the person had given a chance to strive
He would've succeeded instead of just waiting to be fed
Love is not always giving
Love is not expecting anything in return
Love is not lonely
Love is definitely not pain
I’m trying very very hard to move on
I can’t stand him anymore yet I can’t live without him
What is this!!!
If the sight of him makes me sick, why still contact him? This is actually a good time to learn to move on since I’m so far away. There is nothing else left to salvage.
This man cheats on you several times
This man doesn’t appreciate you
This man is not on the same level as you
This man does not has any viable future
This man holds on to the wrong values in life
This man has low moral standards
There is no way I will have a happy future with this man
He is not able to share my life with me
He doesn’t understand my life
His channel is different
His social life is different
His wants are different
Honestly, there is nothing left.
放手吧，Diana…
I watched a movie “the idea of you”. Anne Hathaway who is 40 fell in love with a pop singer, who is 24.
The love was intense, similar to what I had.
But there were many obstructions from the society.
They had to separate and revisit their relationship 5 years later. It hasn’t been easy, but they made it.
It made me think, they are really mature in handling the relationship. In knowing the right thing to do.
Me, on the other hand, I’m selfish. I put my children at risk. My family at risk. This is never the right thing to do as a matured human being. I have failed to grow to be a matured human.
Realisation is the first step. What’s next? What’s the right thing to do and how to do it?
It’s disgusting!
It’s disgusting when he shows photo of my car in his videos
It’s disgusting when he shows off the expensive perfume he uses in his videos
It’s disgusting when he shares stories of his experiences as if he did it on himself
It’s disgusting when he omits me in those lavish holidays we had together
It’s disgusting he uses what we had, mostly from my, to get other woman to respect him
This is so cheap!!!
It’s disgusting now he has no place to stay, he stays at my house- bring his brother to stay
Then uses my things - my towels, my water dispenser, my washing machine, my fridge, my stove, etc
But when I needed those things, he wouldn’t be responsible.
It’s so disgusting how a person can be so irresponsible or take advantage of others!
This is his way of life. The major problem is the person who enables him - me!!!
It has been almost a month.
I am now on vacation in New York
Last night as I was watching Moulin Rouge on the Broadway, I cried. All my memories with him popped up. How could he cheated on me emotionally? How could he have been looking at those woman while saying he loves me? How could he have divorced me out of anger? How could he abuses me physically and emotionally?
Love shouldn’t hurt but this hurts.
Love is not manipulating, yet he does it all the time.
Now he is jobless and owes money, i allowed him to stay at my house. Why am i so kind? Haven’t I realised that not everyone deserves kindness?
It hurts. Especially when he uses my things to attract other woman. My car, the perfume I bought, as well as shirt we chose together.
How much longer do I allow myself the pain?
His thinking
If the wife knows her husband starts looking out, she should pay more attention to him
He is not responsible in ensuring he doesn’t look out
He is supposed to be taken care of. He is not responsible to sustain the family.
It has been on off on off
Was I tricked during the hoovering?
Does it means I’m not aware enough to pull myself away or I am still too soft hearted?
Last night he called and cried. He admits he was wrong to want to play around - looking around for other woman
Why did I accept this? Or maybe I don’t. There is a needle pricking my heart.
