Day One without the tube
I had a sleepless night, i woke up 3 times clenching my fists. blaming myself for what has happened. Even though everything happened for a reason, but the emotion is too overwhelming.
I asked him to leave. Because I had too much pain. He hurt me too much and it is too pain to bear.
I have to protect myself - I have to protect my children.
There are so many unwillingness in me. The will to leave, is it that strong?
I am unwilling to accept that the past 1 year 8 months has been fake. Everything that happened is akin a dream. Now that I have unplugged myself, I have the tendency to take the tube back. Part of me refuse to leave the "matrix". It is a place i feel free and happy. It's a place I get to be the childish irresponsible me.
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